


Disclosure, Boundaries, and Sharknado

by PJO_Connoisseur



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexuality, Coming Out, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Sex Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:48:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24449827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PJO_Connoisseur/pseuds/PJO_Connoisseur
Summary: Fear of losing Percy has kept Jason from telling his boyfriend he's asexual, but the time has come and he's ready. Or at least he's as ready as he'll ever be, which is to say not ready at all.
Relationships: Jason Grace/Percy Jackson
Comments: 16
Kudos: 191





	Disclosure, Boundaries, and Sharknado

Jason hadn’t meant for it to get this far.

He and Percy had been friends for years before they mutually confessed their feelings and began dating. He’d intended to tell him when they were still only friends to prevent either of them from getting too attached if it was a deal-breaker, but then everything had happened at once out of the blue and it was too late.

Then Jason had planned to tell him on their first real date. If it was still early in their relationship, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if Percy rejected him over it. He’d already been in love with the guy and it would hurt, sure, but it could be worse. But then the date had been amazing, and Percy had held his hand and looked at him with a level of fondness that made Jason’s insides melt, and he couldn’t do it.

He kept meaning to tell him. At first he’d pump himself up before each date or casual hangout, always planning to tell him “tonight.” But then “tonight” became “tomorrow” and “next time,” over and over again until he had almost fully repressed the need to tell him. While he and Percy had their disagreements and rough spots, overall their relationship kept getting better with time. Jason saw a future with him, and sometimes when he woke up to Percy making pancakes after spending the night, he fantasized about them living together down the line. He was in love with the image even though he knew it was too early to be considering it. But then his thoughts would become overrun with other things.

_ You need to tell him. _

_ He’s going to leave you. _

_ Dragging this out isn’t fair to him. _

Jason hadn’t meant for it to get this far, but now they’d been dating a little over four months, and it felt both drastically too late and way, way too soon to tell him. Any time would feel like too soon. Jason wished they could go on like this forever, but he knew they couldn’t. 

For a while he’d hoped being with Percy would change his feelings. He loved Percy, after all, and every book, movie, and TV show told him the ultimate display of love, trust, and intimacy was sex. The logical conclusion Jason had drawn was that finding the right person would fix him, and he’d thought the right person was Percy. When Jason had found he’d enjoyed the kissing, the groping, and a certain level of nudity, he’d thought that meant it was working. He’d thought maybe this was what sexual attraction was all along, that he’d done it, he’d cracked the code and unlocked his feelings.

He had been wrong. Not every asexual person was sex-repulsed, but Jason knew he definitely was a month into their relationship when Percy had tried to undo his belt when they were making out and Jason had wanted to throw up. Percy had been perfect; Jason hadn’t even needed to say anything. Instead, Percy had noticed his discomfort, apologized, and told him they “didn’t need to do anything.” Jason had calmed down, but his brain had supplied the silent “yet” on the end of Percy’s sentence. Even though it was long past the time most people would have expected to have had sex, Percy had never tried to go further again, leaving it to Jason to escalate things if he wanted to, and had never even questioned him about it. 

Thinking about that memory left a lump in Jason’s throat. Percy was such a great guy, and Jason was leading him on. He was a broken person and an awful boyfriend, and he was certain each day the breakup was inching closer.

Jason and Percy were watching a movie and cuddling on Percy’s couch, Jason completely lost in those thoughts, when Percy flicked his forehead.

“Earth to Jason,” he said. 

Jason blinked and looked at his boyfriend. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

Percy raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t say anything, you just look totally out of it. Like, normally you’re up and putting in a new movie the second credits hit.”

Jason looked at the TV screen, not having even noticed the movie was over, and the credits were far enough along that they’d probably been rolling for a few minutes.

“Sorry,” he said, removing his arm from Percy’s shoulders to get up, but Percy gently grabbed his wrist and pulled him back.

“Are you okay?” Percy said, his natural nonchalance unable to mask his concern. “You seem...distracted.”

Jason licked his lips, his mouth dry. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll just put on another movie, okay?” When Percy didn’t release his wrist, he stayed where he was.

“Jason,” Percy said, eyes growing soft. “We’ve always been able to talk about everything, and we promised dating wouldn’t change that. What’s going on?”

“I have something to tell you,” Jason blurted, mentally slapping himself right after. This wasn’t how he wanted this conversation to happen. Admittedly he hadn’t wanted this conversation to happen at all, but he’d at least envisioned it being after a romantic dinner and walk in the park, a good memory of their relationship to end on, not after pizza and  _ Sharknado_. Who had a serious conversation after  _ Sharknado_?

Percy froze, his eyes wide and panicked as he withdrew his hand. After a long pause, his voice shook as he asked, “Are you breaking up with me?”

“What? No!” Jason said as forcefully as he could without yelling. “Gods no! Breaking up is the last thing I want.” He sounded miserable.

Despite the relief Percy displayed, he was frowning as he took Jason’s hand. “Okay, then,” he said. “What...what is it?” He was physically bracing himself for Jason’s next words.

Jason searched for words that would soften the blow. He didn’t want Percy to think that it was personal, but he also didn’t want Percy to think less of him. The more he thought about it, though, the more it seemed he had to pick one, so he decided to be as blunt as possible.

“I’m asexual.” Jason hadn’t thought it was possible for two words to hold so much defeat.

Percy stared at him, unblinking for several long seconds. Then, though it came out ragged, he  _ laughed_.

Jason’s throat closed, eyes filling with tears he refused to let fall. There were a lot of reactions he had prepared himself for: sadness, resentment, betrayal. But not  _ laughter_, like this major part of Jason’s identity he’d been terrified to reveal was a  _ joke_. 

Jason got to his feet with tight fists and a set jaw, storming toward the door. Out of the corner of his eye, Percy’s face dropped to one of horror.

“Jason, wait!”

When Jason whirled around, he nearly smacked into Percy, now standing. “ _ What_?” he snapped. “I didn’t tell you just so you could—” He broke off, having to physically force himself to not cry, though it was obvious he was on the verge.

“Jason, I’m not laughing at  _ you_,” Percy said, eyes desperate. “I just—gods, you scared me! I thought it was going to be something horrible, like you cheated on me.” He laughed again, but this time Jason heard the strangled relief in it. “I’m sorry,” he said, taking Jason’s hands and managing a crooked smile when Jason didn’t pull away. “That was the wrong reaction, and I’m sorry. So please stay so we can talk about it?”

Jason had never thought a situation like this could trigger a fight-or-flight response, but it was a struggle to follow Percy back to the couch as his muscles screamed at him to  _ RUN_. When they sat down, his nails dug into his thighs.

Percy sat with one leg folded under him on the couch and one hanging over the side. “So you said you’re asexual,” he said, voice gentle, like Jason was a small cornered animal. Admittedly he felt like one. “I’m not super knowledgeable or anything, but I think I’ve heard of that. So you don’t like sex, right?”

Jason used all his self-control to stay put and meet Percy’s eyes. “Not exactly,” he said. He flexed his fingers against his lap. “It means I don’t experience sexual attraction. Not everyone who’s asexual is sex-repulsed but uh, yeah, I am.” Jason wondered if it was possible for him to sink right through the floor.

Percy nodded. His eyes were intense and serious, his mouth in a straight line. That expression was rare for Percy, but it suited him in a weird way. Then, his eyes widened as he paled. “I—I haven’t—I’ve never made you feel pressured to do anything, have I?”

Jason took his hand. “Gods no, Perce. You’ve been...You’ve been wonderful.”

Percy relaxed, but he wasn’t entirely calm. “So you’re okay with the things we’ve done? You’re sure?”

Jason nodded, smiling in spite of himself. Gods Percy was adorable. All he was worried about was Jason’s comfort. “Yeah, don’t worry, I don’t want you to stop grabbing my ass or anything.”

Percy’s light laughter made Jason relax. 

“Okay, so,” Percy said, “you’re okay with the stuff we’ve done, and you said you’re sex-repulsed, but there’s more than one kind of sex, you know? So like, are you disgusted by it across the board, or what?” His thumb stroked Jason’s knuckles as if in reassurance.

“I, um, I’ve never actually thought about it. I...I didn’t get this far when I imagined coming out to you. I kind of just assumed you’d dump me and move on.”

Percy frowned, somber rather than irritated. “Jason, I love you,” he said. “I won’t deny sex is important to a lot of people, and I do enjoy it, but it’s never been a necessity for me, you know?” He squeezed Jason’s hand. “I like things as they are, and whatever more you’re comfortable with, if anything, is a bonus. I just want to know what your boundaries are so they don’t get crossed.”

Jason was on the brink of crying again, but this time it was for an entirely different reason. He removed his hand from Percy’s so he could wrap his boyfriend in a hug, his face nestled against his neck when he mumbled, “I love you, you dope.”

Percy laughed and returned the embrace. “I know you do.” When Jason pulled back, Percy took his hand again. “How long has this been stressing you out?”

Jason averted his gaze. “I...I meant to tell you before we got together.”

Percy kissed his hand. “I really wish you would have told me sooner, Superman, but if you thought it was going to lead to a breakup, I get why you were scared.”

Jason eyed him. “Are you really okay with this, Perce? Because—”

“I am,” Percy said firmly. “Like I said, I’m satisfied with where things are. If your boundaries change and you want more or less, that’s okay, but I want to be with you regardless if that’s okay with you.”

“Of course it is,” Jason said before kissing him. “And, uh, back to your question...I guess I’m not sure. I know I hate the idea of anal regardless of position, and I’m not sure about other stuff. I, uh, I’m more comfortable with the idea of receiving than giving, I think.” He flushed as guilt washed over him. “I’m sorry, that’s totally selfish.”

“No, that’s okay,” Percy insisted. “I know for a lot of people it’s all about getting off, but I don’t know, I mostly like the intimacy of it, you know? It makes me feel close to my partner, and I like pleasuring them.” He chewed his lip.

Jason chuckled. “I can see an idea bouncing around in your head, Percy. What are you thinking about?”

Percy gave him a wry smile. “I was just thinking maybe there are other ways we could have that kind of intimacy without crossing your boundaries, if you’re open to them.”

Jason raised his eyebrows, curious. “What did you have in mind?” He shifted closer to Percy, wrapping an arm around him. 

“Well...Maybe we could shower together? Or give each other full-body massages? Stuff that, you know, would be sexy as hell for me but doesn’t have to go anywhere, so it’d just be normal nonsexual stuff for you. Is that weird?”

Jason laughed and shook his head. “No, it’s not. I could be into that.” He kissed him. “I kind of like the idea of getting you riled up like that.” He swallowed hard after he said it, afraid it would sound like he wasn’t  _ really _ asexual. 

“Good,” Percy said, thinking nothing of it and kissing him in turn. “I think that could be fun.” He scratched the back of his neck. “Maybe...maybe if you really want to get me riled up, you could send me nudes? So it could be like you’re a part of it for me without you actually having to be involved. Only if you want to, though.”

Jason chuckled and nuzzled against his boyfriend’s neck. “I might like to try that if I don’t end up liking giving handjobs. Maybe regardless.” He pulled back and kissed Percy’s nose.

Percy snuggled into Jason’s chest with a content sigh. “I love you. And I’m glad you told me.”

Jason played with Percy’s hair. “I love you, too. I’m glad I did, too. I...I didn’t expect it to go this well.”

“Well yeah, you expected us to break up,” Percy said with a tinge of sadness.

“It’s not just that,” Jason said. “I thought...I thought you’d think I was broken.”

Percy pulled back, frowning. “How could you think that? You’re the most wonderful person I know. You not experiencing sexual attraction doesn’t affect that at all.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I just...I’ve spent a lot of time feeling broken, and I’d thought that maybe because I loved you, it would change and I’d be fixed, but that’s not how it worked out.”

Percy tilted Jason’s face up to meet his eyes, a hard look on his face. “Our relationship didn’t fix you because you’re not broken. At all. You’re Jason Grace, one of the most loyal, trustworthy, and brave people I know, especially after coming out to me today. Your sexuality is just another one of the things that make you who you are, and you’re wonderful, therefore your sexuality is wonderful, too. Okay?”

Percy gave his speech with such conviction that Jason had no choice but to believe him. “Okay,” he said with a small but genuine smile. He gave him a long, hard kiss before adding, “I love you.”

“I know you do, Superman,” Percy said with a playful eye roll. “And I love you, even when you’re being totally ridiculous.” He yawned. “So, Sharknado 2 then?”

Jason rolled his eyes but put in the movie before pulling Percy in for an intense cuddle session. He had already known he had the best boyfriend in the world, but now he was certain. Percy’s acceptance wasn’t what validated his asexuality, but it did help him realize it didn’t make him less than. For the first time in a long time, he felt confident in who he was. Jason could get used to that. 


End file.
